WHERE TO BEGIN ???

Well to start with this is my very first attempt at blogging (is that the right term?). I am 47 years old and no stranger to technology or the internet. In fact I jumped on the "techno-wagon" during its infancy, my first computer being a Commodore 64. But over the years technology sped up as I slowed down and somewhere along the way I got run over. It is more typical these days for me to "jump on" as something is reaching critical mass (the wagon moves slower), though I suspect before too long I will "jump" a bit too late and miss the wagon entirely, landing face down on the pavement.

But what does this have to do with "A.D.D." or "ZEN"??? Maybe nothing. But I have been struggling with ADHD (the correct term) all my life, though I only became aware of it a few years ago. Many things that have frustrated me over the years now make a bit more sense. They still frustrate me but I am a bit more "zen" in how I deal with the frustration. I have read all the books, worked with coaches and psychologists, taken all the pills and tried countless "tricks" and "techniques" to help me cope. A few have actually been helpful, though for most the only success was in being able to eliminate them as options, narrowing the focus.

My latest frustration (don't worry, this isn't going to be a "top ten list") is that I can't seem to find any new methods or techniques to work with that aren't just a modification or new twist on one I've already tried. That, coupled with an increasingly strong sense that I should be looking inward for answers (there's that "ZEN" thing again), has spurred me to contemplate.

Not yet sure of what I am contemplating, nor where to even begin the "inward search" I did what most people do when faced with such a dilemma...........

Nothing.

To be more specific, I decided to try meditation (zen again). Now I've tried meditation before. I've tried guided meditation, chakra meditation, shamanic journeys, chanting, vibrational meditation and a few others that I can't immediately recall. And I've experienced benefits in various forms from all of them. But the one thing they all seemed to have in common was a goal. I entered into all of them with some form of goal or expectation. this time was different......is different. I am meditating with the intent to empty my mind of all thought and noise (no small task for one with ADHD). Nothing else. I'm not looking for anything or hoping to see or hear anything. Or feel anything other than "empty". I guess this is where the zen thing comes in........

and where this blog begins. For today, while driving home from the office and trying not to sputter about the "idiots in a hurry" that seem to rule the roads, a random thought popped into my head..........

"From A.D.D. to ZEN"

It didn't evolve from a conflux of other random thoughts as often occurs. It just popped out in front of me clear and alone. Nothing swirling around it, didn't have to squint to focus on it, it was just there. Then the subtitle showed up..........

"A Journey from the Head to the Heart"

This is particularly poignant for me. As one who has spent much of my life viewing everything through a "logical" thought-based filter I have spent the last couple years exploring "alternative" perspectives and trying to open a fairly closed mind.

The next thought.....26 letters in the alphabet......divides neatly into 52 weeks in a year......one letter every 2 weeks. So I'm going to try to write about aspects of my journey, some past some current, devoting 2 weeks to each letter of the alphabet. As I write this it sounds a bit crazy, or grasping, but I've done worse and survived. So I'm going to take a leap here and see where it leads. And I welcome any help, thoughts or encouragement you may offer along the way.........................

jd